Have you ever noticed when you have to do something, you argue with yourself on whether you should do it or not? This happened to me recently...yesterday actually. We were on our way back from conference and I had a lot on my mind. I was just thinking about everything and I came to a decision on something I've been meaning to do for quite a while now and that would make me closer to God. At the exact moment I came to this decision, I started arguing with myself. All these questions came rushing into my mind, and i started doubting whether i should go through with it or not. If I went through it, I would be a much happier person, I would have a much better relationship with the Lord, and I wont feel as guilty, even though the guilt is always going to be there. If I didn't go through with it, it would be like I'm chained to the wall and I'm stuck there forever, and I will never be able to get over it. While all of this was going on in my head, I heard a small voice asking "do you trust Me?". I couldn't believe it at first, the voice was so small, so quite, so little. I didn't believe it at first, but as the questions kept flooding my mind, as i leaned towards not going through with it, that voice just kept asking "do you trust Me?" "do you trust Me?" "do you trust Me?". I broke down in the car, I realized God was asking me to choose Him or the worldly things. I knew what I had to do, but the question was will I be able to do it. We reached our house, hours and hours passed, it was finally time to go to bed, and as I was laying there on my bed, thinking about everything, that same voice came back and said "I am always by your side, never forget that". That's the moment I knew. I got up, did what i had to do and came back to bed. As I lay back down, i felt peace flowing through my body, like I was finally free, like I wasn't chained anymore. I started smiling, cause I knew God was happy with the decision I had made (Nehemiah 8:10 "...for the joy of the Lord is your strength") If it wasn't for the strength God had given me, I wouldn't have been able to do it. God was truly with me. Now all I can do is smile, cause I know, God is with me, and He will never forsake me. I experienced something that I've never experienced before. I'm happy I heard that voice in my head, and now I can literally shout out saying "I do trust you Lord, more than anything in the world, I do trust you"
Psalms 63 : 4,7 and 8
4 "So I will bless You as long as I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name."
7 "For You have been my help, and in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy."
8 "My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me."
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